doandroidsmeme:

someone: who hurt you

me: do you want the complete unabridged annotated version or will the beginners introduction suffice

(Source: religiouscharadreemurr, via tr1angl3)

Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve been around.  But surprise!  It’s because someone sexually assaulted me.

https://www.facebook.com/events/1654294448159072/

Hi.  I just need to make an important post.  It’s so hard to pare this down into cliff notes because it was just so comprehensively…awful.  But I’ll try. 

I used to play roller derby on a team in Lancaster PA.  Someone on the team got obsessed with me, not really caring what I wanted and ended up sexually assaulting me on multiple occasions.  I was passively in denial about it for quite some time until other friends witnessing what was going on got me to snap out of it.  All of the terror and trauma hit me at once when I realized it, and I could barely function.  I knew I had to talk to the board of directors at the time on the team.  I finally hyped myself up to do it.  Nothing happened.  Except myself being penalized over random things… the vice president was the room mate of the perpetrator.  I had no footing in leadership.  I’m sure you can figure out how this went.

One day I couldn’t take it anymore and walked to the courthouse.  I filed for PA’s version of a restraining order- PFA.  That day I was granted the temporary PFA which went into effect when I left the courthouse.  When I brought this to the attention of leadership, they told me not only was I banned from the premises as long as I had this document in effect, I was banned from any league function whatsoever.

I felt so disheartened and beat down, I couldn’t even muster the energy to continue with the PFA.  I just layed in bed, or hid in friend’s houses on their couches.  There was no support for me where I lived, and I couldn’t continue to keep dragging myself through it all.  I instead chose to transfer to a team near Philly (This is where I am currently, and I’m safe and beyond happy so that’s good) but because I didn’t continue to fight in Lancaster, I’m openly ridiculed by people affiliated with the rape-y league that ‘it didn’t happen because I dropped the charges so I should quit whining about it.’

Note that the person who assaulted me is STILL ON THEIR TEAM.  They tout themselves as ‘a safe space’ and ‘empowering for women’ and all sorts of bullshit that they haven’t only not embodied but explicitly contradicted in not just my presence, but others (other people came forward to me with stories of abuse later)

They have NEVER sincerely apologized to me.  I begged them to include a sexual assault policy in their rules, and they refused until it went public and they started losing places to advertise.  And even then, they refused to let me see it when I asked (it apparently sucks).  When the local community space refused to let them advertise anymore because of their actions, they told them if they could make amends with me, they could possibly be allowed to advertise there again.  They didn’t even remotely bother.

These are the people I still deal with in the city where I live.  I am SICK of them continuing on like nothing happened, presenting to innocent bystanders that they’re A SAFE SPACE and EMPOWERING!  It makes me sick.

Please, just…. I don’t know.  Say something to them.  SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THEM.  I just want them to know that their behaviour is not ok, it wasn’t ok, it will never be ok, and not addressing it does not make it go away.  My pain does not just ‘go away’.

The link above is to their latest recruitment meeting. [EDIT- surprise, I think they already blocked comments on the event.  If we don’t have to hear about it, we don’t have to deal with it, right??]

Here’s a link to their actual FB page while I’m at it too. https://www.facebook.com/DutchlandRollers/

Feel free to share this post.  I have nothing to be embarrassed about.  I’ve felt misdirected shame for long enough.

Anonymous asked: If someone is not gay, but they are also not straight, what the fuck are they?

ezrafurman:

Possible answers to this:

1) I don’t know

2) Bisexual

3) A human being

4) Fuck you leave me the fuck alone